from shower to bed

May 17, 2006 | writing

I am going to finish writing this sex scene today.

Yes, I am.

(It’s actually not taking as long as it seems to–I’ve only opened it like three times. Schoolwork is taking up most of my thoughts and energy.)

My main problem right now is how they get from the shower to the bed. I have trouble with transition action in general. Sometimes it can take an hour to write something very simple such as “she crossed the room and went out the door after him”–just cause I get sort of bored with that stuff.

Added to this, the hero is a carrying kind of guy. If he had his druthers he would pick her up and carry her to the bed, especially as she is rather overcome and dizzy with, er, passion. But the thing is, the whole point of this sex scene is that the heroine (yes, the one who’s afraid of having sex with the hero) is leading the action. So I sort of have to struggle between the hero doing what he wants to do, and the scene reflecting my thematic purpose for it.

(Yes, I really do think this way.)

I think he will probably pick her up in another scene. So how do they get to the bed? I really, really want her to lead him there with a hand on his most obvious extremity, but I’m not so sure my editor will go for that.

I might try it out anyway.

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Comments


  1. Liz Fielding says:

    Oh, Julie, those small steps that take as long as some chapters…

    You haven’t considered something like ET and the Reeses Pieces? Except not chocolate, but backing towards the bed, offering… No, this is your field of expertise. I’m having enough trouble with a kiss right now…


  2. Donna says:

    Julie, I say go for it. Because when you said she’s leading the action, that was EXACTLY what ran through my mind. Just, you know, keep it playful and make sure she doesn’t rip it off or use fingernails. :-)

    D


  3. Sadhbh says:

    Julie - I have a vision of him not moving and his appendage just getting longer and longer as she moves towards the bed (reminds me of an old joke - but I digress)
    Good luck with your characters finishing their scene

    Hugs


  4. Michelle says:

    LOL! What a hoot. Good luck!

    I have a vision of a little trail of condoms leading to the bed…:0


  5. SunnyLyn says:

    Perhaps a silk ribbon lying on the lavatory that she’d had in her hair? - lol. Beats her using a rubber band or elastic wrap pony tail holder - hehehe.

    Sounds good.


  6. Karen says:

    Personally I love it. If she’s taking charge, then she might as well TAKE CHARGE. So I say go for it.

    I have labored over the same thing - how to get them in bed, against the wall, in the shower, etc. I can see them there, problem is they’re hanging out in the kitchen or whatever and what should they do? “Hey baby let’s go make it in the shower.” That doesn’t work in a romance novel, though I can imagine my husband saying this to me.

    Oops, TMI, huh??? :)


  7. Michelle Styles says:

    How would a director shoot the scene? It is important to waste money showing how they made it to the bed. Or is it simply a pace killer?
    Sorry, am currently reading McKee’s Story about the principles of screenwriting and think he has an excellent point, the writer needs to think like a director in a film.

  8. I’m with Donna! That’s what came into my mind, too! Go for it, Julie, if that’s what feels right for the scene and characters and Zoe taking charge - if your editor won’t go with it (pardon the expression!) when the time comes then you can think again if you have to. Good luck with it.

    Managed the stunning total of 70 words on the new wip yesterday!!!! All cobblers, too. Sigh.

    Love,
    Mags


  9. April says:

    LOL, I say go with what you’re feeling.

    I have transition troubles to. Sometimes I feel like it comes off as simple direction. He walked to… She moved to… blah blah blah. Gotta keep it interesting. At least your idea does that :-)


  10. Sadhbh says:

    How about describing his feelings as she draws him across the room? the tension building and building (like the shower scene in Psycho LOL)?
    Would that work - or her angst at odds with her take charge attitude (because she’s aware that otherwise they’ll spend another fortnight wasting time before they get to it quite apart from the fact that technically speaking that would be the sequel, not the same book at all!)

    Hugs


  11. Ehle says:

    She could jump on him. Could she jump on him? That way she’s in control, but he’s still supporting her weight, therefore carrying. Let us know what you work out!


  12. JR says:

    What would you do Julie? Perhaps start there.


  13. Jenna says:

    Have him chase her. I like a good tackle.


  14. Julie says:

    Sounds like you guys should be writing the scene for me! ;-)


  15. Ehle says:

    A round robin sex scene…that could be interesting and disturbing at the same time!


  16. Julie says:

    Oh, I would so try it if my students didn’t read this blog.

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