June 11, 2006 | Delicious, writing
I didn’t change Elisabeth, my heroine of Delicious, very much. I knew she was a caring person, a dedicated teacher who was afraid of losing control over her life because she had made some mistakes in her past; I knew she was quick-witted, clever, and a little bit sardonic, that she forgave others’ mistakes far more easily than her own, and that down deep, she was desperately in need of fun. And she’s still that in the final draft. What I did do was beef up her backstory to give her more reason to be the way she is, and to develop her emotional reactions.
To give her a reason for her obsession with control and stability, I decided that her childhood had been disrupted by her family moving frequently around Canada (nude Canadian hippies, dontcha know). I also decided her parents had not been strong authority figures, so she values rules and boundaries. In the first draft she’d had a bad relationship with a superficial man in her past, but I decided to really explore the pain that relationship had caused.
Something strange happened while I developed Elisabeth’s backstory, though–something that shows the odd interaction between imagination and real life.
I didn’t check my first draft of Delicious before I wrote the new draft–not beyond the first few pages, anyway–and so I happily built up the backstory I thought I already had…that Elisabeth had gotten pregnant from an earlier disastrous relationship, and miscarried the baby.
Except when I was checking something different in the first draft, I realised something I honestly had not remembered before.
Elisabeth in the first draft had never been pregnant. And she’d never had a miscarriage.
She hadn’t. But I had. About a month and a half before I wrote the new draft of the book, in April 2005, I lost a baby at ten weeks.
Of course, this gave me a huge well of emotion to explore, because I was still dealing with so much of it myself.
And honestly, writing that book helped me hugely. I expressed emotions that I was keeping in, and through my characters, I dealt with them. And just as importantly, I visualised a happy ending for my heroine.
It’s the ultimate in positive thinking. And it’s also why I cry when I finish reading the book, every time.
Michelle says:
Oh, now you have me sniffling too.
I’m so glad you have your happy ending in real life now, too! Hugs to the Fecklet!
Stacy Holmes says:
Fecklet…I love it! Isn’t funny how the mind helps us cope even when we don’t realize it. I’m glad for your happy ending too.
Karen says:
So Elisabeth is…you. How therapeutic to be able to use your characters and the story to get out all of your emotions and frustrations. Writing is definitely a form of therapy. So is reading - Delicious made me cry.
I’m very glad for your happy ending.
Jessica Raymond says:
Aw Julie… I’m glad that writing about your experience, even indirectly, helped you deal with your feelings. Hugs to you. Jess x
Julie says:
Yes, the mind and the heart are really amazing things. Thanks Michelle, Stacy, Karen, and Jess.
Has anybody else found that your characters have helped you work through an issue in your own life?
Anna Lucia says:
Hugs, sweets.
I’m not sure that any of my characters have helped me work through an issue, but they always help me see myself more clearly. Often I’ll find - quite late on in writing the book - that I’ve given a character a hangup of my own. And often I didn’t realise I had that hangup before I started writing that character…
Writing is marvellously therapeutic, and a great path to self-knowledge!
Sharon J says:
They (whoever they are) say we leave a little bit of ourselves in each of our characters and I do believe that. The case with Elizabeth is pretty clear on that point but do you think you left any of yourself in Angus?
Sharon J says:
PS: The above comment should have been on the post about Elizabeth’s miscarriage.
Sharon J says:
PPS: Damn! It was on the right post after all. Oh well, it’s 2.26 am so I’m excused, yeah?
Jennifer McKenzie says:
How amazingly courageous of you, Julie. I had no idea. It makes your current good news that much more exciting.
I wrote my first ms because of my Dad’s sudden death. In it, I had a funeral scene that I lifted directly from my own experience. I gave my heroine the same emotions I felt and, in doing so, I worked through those feelings. Her grief over the death of her father is my grief.
I may never see this one pubbed but I worked through a lot writing it.
Kate Hardy says:
Yeah. That’s why ‘Where the Heart Is’ made three editors and my agent cry. With you all the way, Julie. Hugs.
Kathy says:
I don’t know if my characters have helped me through hard patches. Maybe. I do know that I tend to write heroines with a little (and in some cases, a lot) of me in them.
Yeah, I guess writing does help me through hard times. And I think writing different characters help me understand those around me better. Since we are constantly putting ourselves in other people’s shoes, we have to understand others’ problems. As Julie can attest to, I used to be a pretty black and white person. Now, I see shades of gray a lot better.
Julie, you did so well with Elisabeth. I’m glad it helped you heal too. And I’m so excited for you now.
Julie says:
Anna–it’s always amazing, isn’t it, when the characters suddenly illuminate something about ourselves?
LOL Sharon. I’m not sure if Angus has any of me, aside from the fact that I really, really fancy Ewan McGregor and men who can cook. I share some of his urge to succeed for success’s sake and I can definitely relate to his workaholism.
Julie says:
Jennifer, I really understand how writing about your heroine’s father’s funeral would be helpful to you. Even if that ms never sees the light of day, I’m sure that emotion will come through in your other stories.
Kate, yup, I knew you knew the theraputic value of writing, and you’ve got the weepies to prove it!
Kathy, you’re totally right–I think writing has helped me to think about how other people think, too. That, and teaching, where you can never assume you know the whole issue!
Julie Day says:
Sorry to hear that you lost a baby back then and glad that writing about a character who went through the same emotions helped you lay it to rest. Fingers crossed for this new baby.