I am, according to the word meter there on the side, over 80% done with this ms (though I think it’s actually more like 90%), and I am beginning to be sad about finishing it. I’ll miss these characters when I’m done with them. I like Eleanor, and her self-doubts, and her sense of humour. I love Hugh, and his casual devotion, and his gorgeous resemblance to David Tennant. I even like the secondary character of an old man who sits at the end of the bar in the pub where Eleanor works and gets steadily drunker and steadily hornier until he suddenly erupts into verbal violence. (Imaginatively, he’s called Horny/Angry Man.)
There are other things about it that are close to my heart…the heroine is pregnant and I got to put in some of my experiences. She’s also a writer, and her doubts and insecurities are very definitely like my own. She also lives in Reading, so I’ve had fun putting her in places that I’m familiar with.
And on top of all that, this is The Book I Wrote When I Had My Baby. In fact there’s a break on page 72 that says “Pause here to have baby”.
My writing friends all remind me that I always get depressed when I finish a book, and that it’s a good sign because it means a) that things are normal with me, and b) I like this book and therefore it’s probably not utter crap. Sela called it “The Seasons of Julie.” It’s very true, and one of the reasons I started this blog was to remind myself that my feelings about my writing go in cycles, invariably in this order:
fear (starting book),
elation (liking book),
crow attack (hating book),
optimism (book could be all right), and
depression (book is over).
Does that happen to you too?
P.S. Don’t forget my book giveaway!
OMG, it SO does! Elation – coming to end of first 3 chapters, hey, this is okay! Then slogging through middle, omg who ever told me I could write should be shot, getting to the last few chapters, wow, this might actually wor, and then sigh. It’s done. I’m gonna miss them.
Although with my January book I was glad to send it and didn’t want to think of it again. Which is probably why I had heavy revisions.
I’m somewhere between elation and crow attack right now.
I also have stages, only different from yours – excitement when I start, then fear in the middle that I’ll run out of story, then elation when I finish!
Hmm… I can totally relate to the fear, crow attack and depression stages, now I’m hoping that I *will* one day also reach the elation and optimism – if, that is, I ever FINDABOO!!!
Sue
Donna…write through the crows! You can dooo eeeeeet!!
Dara, I never worry I’ll run out of story–it’s more like I worry that I have lots of STUPID, CRAP story. Maybe that is the same worry.
Sue, I hope you reach the fun parts soon! I have to say that the elation bit is the best feeling ever. It’s like falling in love. Pity the crows tend to peck away at that…
Julie
I am sure this book will be great. I can’t imagine you *ever* having doubts and insecurities. You write successfully for TWO publishers and have ajoba nd a baby! I feel totally inadequate and as for crows of doubt, mine are so bad they cripple me from writing, as they have for a few months now. I daren’t post the way I often feel on my blog as it would be a self-indulgent misery fest. I always thought I ‘got in by mistake’ to the uni I went to, and that feeling is with me now too, 25 years later.
I’m usually elated at the beginning of the book and then the crows appear at the middle and then the rush towards the end and finally the crows return………
Phillipa, the doubts and insecurities never go away. Or so I’ve been told. Knowing your doubt and insecurity cycle/pattern helps a bit, though.
It sounds as if you’ve had second book syndrome…and I have a feeling that SBS is worse if you happen to have sold your first book, because you don’t have a history of having been rejected, if that makes sense.
Anyway, nothing happens by mistake.
Yes, Liz, I think the crows return when the book is done, because that’s when it gets judged. Maybe another reason why I feel sad near the end.
Yes, I recognise the cycle.
There is also the point for me where I can see that certain things ought to be done but have no idea how the heck to go about them.
This is generally about the time I send it to my editor who comes back with soothing comments and insights. then I can see how the book is going to be stronger. At this point, I generally feel slightly — d’uh why didn’t I see that to begin with? time.
I am currently at the point where I have to get the last round of edits put on the computer, so I am living, breathing my ms.
Thanks for the therapy. I got the proofs today and guess what? It was a real confidence boost. It all actually works and I’m left thinking. Did I really write that? Well, hey…maybe I don’t suck totally.
How do you feel when you see the proofs?
Yes, I get that. I definitely get the depresseion when it’s over, because I miss my characters–which is why I write series!
Right now I’m in the middle of a crow attack. I hate this book, I hate the characters, it’s going nowhere, I suck and should have my keyboard confiscated, etc etc.
I may be in need of chocolate.
Writers sound a lot like painters. I know those crows!!! I have a few other battles, common to other painters too I’m fairly sure. “Is it done ?” “Am I thinking too much?” If I sell it can I visit it?
I hope my taxpreparer doesn’t have those insecurities!
I cheated with SBS. I wrote a linked story so I was familiar with the characters and setting. I was in a comfort zone and it was one less stressor. Third book however…horrid. And it’s still out there waiting for the verdict….
Actually scammed some of your post and posted to my chapter loop, Jules. Someone else brought up similar feelings last night.
It’s so true about SBS, Julie! My second one sank horribly into the editorial mire, never to be seen again, and Book 3 became Book 2. Maybe the answer is always to skip straight from Book 1 to Book 3?
I’m just about to finish my first every book, not pubbed yet of course. All along I’ve been thinking, ‘I can’t! I can’t!’ and now I’ve done it. Well, almost. I shan’t ever let it out of my sight though, I want to nurse my baby even if it is rubbish. I guess I’ll have to get over that and get it out there sometime,
Lynne.
Michelle, your book will be great.
Phillipa, I feel the same way when I get proofs. “Hey, this doesn’t suck!” It’s a good feeling.
Kate, a series is such a good idea. You don’ t have to say goodbye to the characters and you don’t have that fear of beginning a whole new world. I think one of the secondaries who’s shown up in this wip will be my next heroine, which is exciting.
Chris, it’s good to know artists have the same fears (misery loves company). Thank you for stopping by, I love hearing from you!
Donna, you will be FINE!!
Sorry about your second book Rosy. I think that is quite common. I liked my second book better than my first book so I’m quite glad I wrote it.
Lynne, hooray for you!! I’m not surprised you feel very proud. Will this go to the NWS?
Hi Julie
Have just sent my completed manuscript to a friend I’m re-reading bits of it, particularly the end. I think I suck big time and should never write anything else ever again. At least not in the romance line. So to know that this is just par for the course is very refreshing.
Mary
xx
I tend to miss out the “elation” stage, Julie!
Congrats on finishing.