June 25, 2008 | writing
So yesterday I started my new book.
I would like to pretend that everything about writing is sweetness and light, but it is not. I didn’t feel like starting. I felt like sitting in the back garden in the sun and reading. Or doing laundry. Or buying food so my family and I don’t have to eat random bits of cheese and strange things in tins. Or blogging. Or any one of a million displacement activities that would stop me having to think, really hard, which is what you have to do when you start a book.
It’s so easy to get it wrong. You can start in the wrong place or make the heroine wrong or put the focus on the wrong character or name someone the wrong name. Once a book has started, you’ve made some choices and you’ve got some momentum, but at the beginning, there is still so much to decide.
Some people find this exciting. Me, I often want to hide under a rock.
The first chapter of Girl from Mars came so easily to me. Ditto the first chapter of Honey Trap. I had to change them in revisions, but I knew where I wanted them to go. But thinking back, to make myself feel better, I realise that I had no idea how to begin One Night Stand and thought it was really boring, and that I began Married in a Rush in a way that I thought would never work, but actually in the end it did. Both times I figured, “hey, WRITE CRAP and fix it later” and in the end, I didn’t have to fix those beginnings much more than I have to fix any beginning.
So yesterday I WROTE CRAP. And it was crap, let me tell you. Very little direction, very little character for the heroine. I started writing it in third person and then three pages in, realised that wasn’t going to work so I rewrote it in first person. Then I took a walk to pick up the Fecklet from his child minder and realised I’d made the heroine REact in the first chapter, rather than ACT. I’d put more attention on the secondaries than on her.
Then I tried to explain it to a friend of mine and I realised that though the chapter is supposed to end on quite a dramatic event (well, actually a very dramatic event) I’d left out all the drama and build-up.
Essentially, today and tomorrow I get to fix all the crap I wrote yesterday. And hopefully it will be better. But if I hadn’t written it to begin with, I wouldn’t have anything to improve.
Kirsty says:
Thanks so much for this Julie. I was meant to start my second book last week. Have been procrastinating and feeling like crap instead of writing crap.
I just have to bite the bullet and get down to it, like you said.
I think my problem is I see the whole book looming before me, when I should really be adjusting my sights to my daily word count until I get into my story and don’t feel so overwhelmed. Then I am happy enough to stand back and look at the whole. That’s how it worked last time, anyway.
But thanks for posting this, it reminds me that Im not alone!
Biddy says:
Hugs! Am here if you need to chat things over.
Michelle Willingham says:
This is exactly where I am. I’m revising one book and beginning another, and the new book is just garbage. I have an idea of the first meeting between hero/heroine that will work, but I have to get the set-up right. It’s just not working. Ugh.
Fran says:
is there room under that rock for two?
i also have this thing about writers having to “kill their babies”, that the scenes we love the most are prob the worst ones we have written..
on good days i love all of mine! agh! does that mean they are all really bad!
Rachael Blair says:
YAY - thanks so so so so muchly for writing this post today! I have been struggling with doubts - but slowly writing through them the past month or so - and then today I had bad writing news and wondered why I am even bothering. But the fact is, I’m bothering cos I LOVE IT and I need to get that back and just write and see what I’ve got to fix. So thanks for the permission to WRITE CRAP!
I will…
LindaC says:
That’s right: you can’t fix a blank page AND don’t get it right, get it written. You hit both things dead on, Julie! There’s nothing like a blank computer screen to scare the beejeebers out of me!
LindaC
Jessica Raymond says:
I agree totally in all ways — that you cannot fix what doesn’t exist and that nothing is ever perfect first-time round (apart from little baby sons!). Though technically I have no right to say this as I haven’t written anything for… four or five months? :/
cyclops8 says:
I’m not a writer, but I have days where everything I write(emails) is crap, too.
Julie says:
I think my problem is I see the whole book looming before me, when I should really be adjusting my sights to my daily word count until I get into my story and don’t feel so overwhelmed.
YES, Kirsty, that’s it! I feel exactly that way. Thank you for what you said, it makes sense and makes me feel better, too.
Good luck with your second book. I’m sure it will go fine. (I can say these things with conviction to other people, you notice…)
Julie says:
Biddy, you’ve already had it today…
Michelle W, the thing is, perspective and experience should make it easier, and it does, but you still want to put it off and just take it easy. And you forget, too, that the book you’re revising has already had so much work on it and didn’t start out as anything, and then compare it to your new book, which isn’t anything, and you feel like crap because your new book isn’t as good as the finished book, and then you have to make yourself remember.
For example, my author copies of HONEY TRAP came today and I just looked at them and thought, “This book is DONE”, as if I could wish this next book done, too. But I don’t really wish it done, because the writing is important and fun. It’s just hard work.
Julie says:
Fran, loving something does not mean it’s bad! It’s just that sometimes you need to step back a little. I say, treasure those days when you love everything you write! They come rarely and they haul you through the days when you hate everything you write.
But meanwhile, climb on underneath the rock with me.
Julie says:
Rachael, (((hugs))) for your bad writing news. I hope the inspiration strikes again soon, but until then, you can write as much crap as you like. Nothing is ever wasted.
You too, Linda C.
Jess, you are right, little baby sons do come out perfect the first time round though I suspect some may tarnish slightly with age. Ours are still perfect though and will doubtlessly continue.
cyclops8, I have days when everything I DO is crap. For those days, there is wine.
amanda ashby says:
I wish I only got it wrong at the beginning of the book, but lately I seem to take a wrong turn at pretty much every point of my wip, which is starting to get a tad annoying! Still, when it finally gets unwrong, it does feel worth the pain!!!!!
MichelleStyles says:
Yes, but being able to write crap is a gift. A lot of people are to wound up in trying to write a perfect book. It is one of the reasons why many editors can’t write.
In order to edit, you first need to have words and images on the page.
You have to keep your eye on the doughnut. And to remember concrete does not work in writing or baking.
Tracy says:
I was thrilled to read your blog Julie, and to see that other writers also go through this.
M&B requested a partial and synopsis from me a couple of months ago, and I’m now at the editing stage. I must admit that yesterday, I felt like giving up, as everything I had written seemed absolutely awful. I had to stop myself from pressing the delete button.
Today, I have been reluctant to even look at it, and even found spring-cleaning the kitchen a far more interesting prospect.
So thanks for Julie, knowing that other writers also go through this might help the next time I feel I’ve written a load of crap.
Julie says:
Agh, I feel your pain Amanda! You’re right about it feeling good when you get it unwrong. I guess all those writers who get it right the first time just don’t get that reward. Right!??!
LOL Michelle about the concrete!
Tracy, hooray for the request and good luck with the edits. Sometimes a break is a good thing, if you can afford to take it and make sure you come back. Otherwise, I think you have to force yourself and do the best you can, and then maybe go through again and do the best you can again. Do you have critique partners to help you?
Tracy says:
Hey Julie
No, I don’t have a critique partner. I guess it would be great to have somebody you can bounce ideas off. I do belong to a writers group, but nobody there is into romantic fiction; so don’t really understand the genre. However, I do get back some insightful critiques on my writing.
Your blog has made me realise though, that we all have bad writing days. The break has done me good, and I’m inspired to get back to it.
By the way, I was sorry to miss your creative workshop you held in Windsor in May. Will you be doing any more?
Julie says:
Tracy, I’m glad your writing group is helpful. Though general writing tips are great, sometimes it’s more useful to have someone who knows the genre to critique your work. Have you thought about joining the RNA?
And yes, yes, yes, we all have bad writing days. Dammit.
I’m not scheduled to do any more workshops in Windsor, though we’re hoping to plan another one soon. And I’m leading a whole course in September with Cornerstones (more details on my home page). I’m not sure if you’re on my newsletter list, but if you email me, I usually send out newsletters before I do workshops. And might be able to suggest something if you’re in the Berkshire area.
Tracy says:
Hi Julie
Thanks, I’ll email you.
Liz says:
Sometimes you just have to start to know where you when wrong. I just started the wrong book with the wrong character (it’s a duo) but I wouldn’t have known if I hadn’t started.
Hope yours flows effortlessly (ha!) from now on. We could send you heavy rain to keep you out of the garden if that would help…