June 27, 2008 | writing
Scrapping the whole beginning (it was only about 2000 words) and starting again actually worked really well. It’s not that I changed the structure of the chapter, or even essentially what happened; it was all about the mood. It even came down to the first sentence. Changing a few words and an image made all the difference between a character who was not behaving as I wanted her to be, and one who was.
My original first sentence was:
Sunlight crowbarred its way between my eyelids with all the cheerfulness of a gang of Mafiosi.
And I changed it to:
Sunlight beat against my eyelids with the relentless good cheer of a gaggle of girls on a hen night.
You would hardly think that such a change would make a big difference to the flavour of the whole chapter, but it really does.
Now I just have to figure out what happens in the rest of the book.
cyclops8 says:
How long did it take you to edit the first sentence?
Julie says:
Two frickin’ days.
Though the next 3000 words followed closely after that.
Ellen says:
So now that you have the first sentence right and the next 3000 words are you a tiny bit happier?
Julie says:
A tiny bit. But I still require obscene amounts of chocolate.
I put the blog prize books in the post today, BTW!
Michelle Willingham says:
I dumped about 4 pages to my new beginning. Last night, I figured out what was missing, though, and all of a sudden, 2 new pages came out of nowhere. Personally, I think you can always tell if you’re on the right track when the writing flows.
Good luck!
Jan Jones says:
I love the new sentence, Julie. The way a character describes something tells you about the character herself, don’t you think?
MichelleStyles says:
Yes, I seee how it changes the whole tone.
HOpefully it will flow from here on out.
I am currently struggling with my opening three chapters. It is getting better and closer to what I want…
Ro says:
Julie, pls contact me… strange NE stuff etc…
Nell Dixon says:
That first sentence is so important isn’t it? It took me ages with Animal Instincts to get it how I wanted.
Anna Adams says:
Julie, I love the change. Girls on a hen party are definitely a different mood-setter than mafiosi.
Barbara says:
Small changes can make things even better so good luck with the writing. I do wonder though why it’s called a hen party but that’s a American talking so to me it sounds kind of silly.
Jessica Raymond says:
Those lines come from two entirely different book genres!
Julie says:
Hooray Michelle W! I hope it keeps on flowing for you.
And Michelle S, I hope you find the key for your first three chapters soon.
Jan, that’s it exactly; a character’s point of view is so important to everything in the book.
Nell, you’re right, it is hard.
Anna, and Jessica, yes, it’s a totally different mood. In the first draft she was sort of a victim, almost bullied by her surroundings and circumstances. I didn’t like that at all.
Barbara, a hen party is what I think is called a bachelorette party in the US. You know, a bunch of girls behaving badly and getting into lots of drunken mischief before a wedding.
The Original Ro says:
I am shocked and stunned!
To think there’s someone using the same handle as me. And I thought I was being so original.
Mind you, I guess there aren’t too many combinations of two letters are there? It’s my own fault for being lazy!
Kate Johnson says:
A gaggle of hen party girls…yes, loud, raucous, and impossible to direct, just like geese!
I totally agree with getting the right opening for a book. It reminds me of seeing Neil Finn re-start a song because he hadn’t played the opening note cleanly enough.