Scrapping the whole beginning (it was only about 2000 words) and starting again actually worked really well. It’s not that I changed the structure of the chapter, or even essentially what happened; it was all about the mood. It even came down to the first sentence. Changing a few words and an image made all the difference between a character who was not behaving as I wanted her to be, and one who was.
My original first sentence was:
Sunlight crowbarred its way between my eyelids with all the cheerfulness of a gang of Mafiosi.
And I changed it to:
Sunlight beat against my eyelids with the relentless good cheer of a gaggle of girls on a hen night.
You would hardly think that such a change would make a big difference to the flavour of the whole chapter, but it really does.
Now I just have to figure out what happens in the rest of the book.
How long did it take you to edit the first sentence?
Two frickin’ days.
Though the next 3000 words followed closely after that.
So now that you have the first sentence right and the next 3000 words are you a tiny bit happier?
A tiny bit. But I still require obscene amounts of chocolate.
I put the blog prize books in the post today, BTW!
I dumped about 4 pages to my new beginning. Last night, I figured out what was missing, though, and all of a sudden, 2 new pages came out of nowhere. Personally, I think you can always tell if you’re on the right track when the writing flows.
Good luck!
I love the new sentence, Julie. The way a character describes something tells you about the character herself, don’t you think?
Yes, I seee how it changes the whole tone.
HOpefully it will flow from here on out.
I am currently struggling with my opening three chapters. It is getting better and closer to what I want…
Julie, pls contact me… strange NE stuff etc…
That first sentence is so important isn’t it? It took me ages with Animal Instincts to get it how I wanted.
Julie, I love the change. Girls on a hen party are definitely a different mood-setter than mafiosi.
Small changes can make things even better so good luck with the writing. I do wonder though why it’s called a hen party but that’s a American talking so to me it sounds kind of silly.
Those lines come from two entirely different book genres!
Hooray Michelle W! I hope it keeps on flowing for you.
And Michelle S, I hope you find the key for your first three chapters soon.
Jan, that’s it exactly; a character’s point of view is so important to everything in the book.
Nell, you’re right, it is hard.
Anna, and Jessica, yes, it’s a totally different mood. In the first draft she was sort of a victim, almost bullied by her surroundings and circumstances. I didn’t like that at all.
Barbara, a hen party is what I think is called a bachelorette party in the US. You know, a bunch of girls behaving badly and getting into lots of drunken mischief before a wedding.
I am shocked and stunned!
To think there’s someone using the same handle as me. And I thought I was being so original.
Mind you, I guess there aren’t too many combinations of two letters are there? It’s my own fault for being lazy!
A gaggle of hen party girls…yes, loud, raucous, and impossible to direct, just like geese!
I totally agree with getting the right opening for a book. It reminds me of seeing Neil Finn re-start a song because he hadn’t played the opening note cleanly enough.