introducing B. H. Dark

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As a little vacation from suckage, I thought I would come clean with you all.

Y’see, I’ve got an alter identity. A couple of years ago, my dear friend Kathy Love and I got this great idea to write a book together. So we wrote it, largely by email and Instant Messenger, and had a blast doing it. Then we made up a pseudonym, and got it accepted by a publisher, and now it’s coming out as an e-book in October. Here’s the blurb:

coming from Samhain Publishing 28 October 2008

In space, no one can hear you cream.

Odilia is a nice planet. The sky is purple, the grass is yellow, the property prices aren’t that bad. But reproduction is painful, solitary, and asexual. Which is why the Odilians find the recently discovered “X-rated” disks from Earth so fascinating. And why the money-making scheme they’re hatching is so brilliant.

The plan is simple: abduct four Earthlings and juice them up on a heady pheromone cocktail. Then plop them in a variety of titillating holographic scenarios and market the results as reality entertainment—for vast profits.

The four chosen humans are strangers to each other, but not to life’s disappointments. Leandros, a lounge singer who’s never committed to anything longer than an Elvis medley. Eve, a interior designer who’s living a life much more beige than bold. Beau, a laid-back car mechanic who wants more from life than oil changes. And Cassandra, an innocent debutante who’s learned most of her sexual know-how from self-help books.

As unwilling—okay, sort of willing—stars of the Odilians’ budding intergalactic porn empire, the four of them consider their options. Relax and enjoy the ride? Try to escape?

How about fall in love?

Hopefully you’ll be hearing more about the mysterious B. H. Dark in the future. Meanwhile, come on over to B. H.’s myspace page and make friends with her! Er, us. Um, her.


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  1. Huzzah! I have wanted to read this book since you first mentioned it a very long time ago. The tagline alone is a work of pure genius.

    What exactly does “B. H.” stand for, anyway?

  2. YAY!! Having read the first three chapters many years ago I can’t wait to find out how it finishes!! Oh and I WILL BE the voice of the audiobook… or else!

  3. OMG. I HOWLED at the tag line!

    Glad you found a home for it…it sounds like it’s going to be a lot of fun for you both!

  4. OMG, Jules — this is fantastic news! Congrats!! 🙂 I’m thrilled for you and Kathy! I can’t wait to read it…

  5. YOur book sounds truly hilarious!

    Congrats from a fellow Samhain author.:)

  6. Ha ha! Ehle, the tagline comes from several pints too many in the pub.

    And what does B. H. stand for? That’s a difficult one…

    Biddy, you are totally the voice of the audiobook. And the book finishes, if I recall rightly, with a hound dog and a cover version of a Mr Big song.

  7. LOL Donna, so do we. Still.

    Kris, I think we have a similar sense of humour. 🙂

    Thank you Rebecca! 😀

  8. This is wonderful Julie! So glad your space opera has found a home…can’t wait to get my hands on it!

  9. Wow! That is so cool. I can’t wait to read it!

  10. You never cease to amaze me 🙂 Sounds great fun!

  11. genius 🙂 sounds fab!
    how did you write it together – taking it in turns with chapters? spliting it into bits and fighting over who got to do the funny parts? 🙂

  12. Thanks Christyne, and Leo, and Liz, and Ruth.

    Liz, I always like to be unpredictable. Woman of mystery, that’s me–er, that’s B. H.

    Ruth–Kathy and I decided on the storyline, and then there were two different couples to write about, taking alternate chapters. She wrote about one, and I wrote about the other, then we’d email each other the chapters. For the parts where all four of the characters were together, we wrote using Instant Messenger, and I’d copy and paste it into a document.

    We spent a lot of time on the phone, too.

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