I spent yesterday morning in a crop circle.
I didn’t make it myself. No, I was just doing research. You may ask (as one dear friend of mine did) how one comes to be in the middle of a crop circle, in a field in deepest Wiltshire, and the answer is simple. It takes seven things (seven being, obviously, a Significant Number):
1) A deep, spiritual connection with crop circles, which are one of the great mysteries of the universe.
2) Wi-fi.
3) A car.
4) A map.
5) Stout shoes.
6) Ability to ignore nettle stings.
7) A willingness to trespass.
Anyway, I got myself into the correct field, and thence into the correct crop circle, though that part it wasn’t as easy as I’d thought, because it’s almost impossible to see a crop circle if you’re not above it. From the air, this particular crop circle looked like this:
(Image from http://www.silentcircle.co.uk/rpt092.html)
From level ground, this crop circle looked like this:
And inside the crop circle, at the junction of all that controversy and mysteriousness and celestial geometry, it looked like this:
I got covered in rapeseed pollen, which, by the way, does not brush off. And I didn’t solve the mysteries of the universe. Instead, I was even more impressed that these things get made, because a clueless person like me could never ever do it, even in broad daylight with someone broadcasting instructions at me from a helicopter.
Though possibly I could if I had aliens helping.
“No, no, officer, it wasn’t me. You see, I’m a writer. I was researching. And – achoo – I think I’m allergic to rapeseed pollen…”
The truth is out there.
So is The Force.
Nanu nanu.
Ehle phone home.
Wow how intricate and completely amazing. So pretty. Imagine how many have been missed because no one’s examined the field from above?
Oh and believe me, Jan, I was rehearsing that the whole time. I’m essentially a very law-abiding person. And paranoid as hell.
Ehle, nanu nanu right back atcha!
Lacey, I know, they’re beautiful, aren’t they? From the looks of it, there are dedicated crop circle spotters who fly around looking for these things every day. They’d spotted two more in the area the same day I visited this one (though I didn’t know it, which is too bad because I would have liked to have seen a fresh one—this one was a few days old).
Did you take a few inebriated young farmers and a large piece of wood with you?
Remember Reg Presley who wrote Love is All Around? When Wet Wet Wet had a mega hit with hit after 4 weddings, i think he gave all the money he made to crop circle research. tee hee.
I believe it takes one more thing, Julie: a big packet of antihistamines. All that rapeseed is making me want to sneeze, and I don’t even get hayfever!
Aliens, tch, never any around when you need a hand.
Phillipa, I sincerely hope that Reg and the Troggs had something to do with that circle.
Kate, no kidding about the antihistamines! I’m still suffering now.
Fran—I know! Damn aliens. Think they can come and go as they please.
Dedicated crop circle spotters? Well, who woulda thunk it? I wonder if that’s a paying job? lol!
[...] instead, as a follow-up to my exploration in Wiltshire in the spring, I researched the proper methods of making a crop circle. Fab. And then I poured [...]