June 28, 2009 | parenthood
As I’m getting him his yogurt for dessert, Fecklet tells me, “I put a pea in my nose.” And promptly starts sticking his finger up there to get it out.
I grab a torch and look. Yup, a pea. (If it makes me seem a better parent, allow me to mention that it’s a fresh pea, not frozen, shelled by myself and Fecklet earlier.) “Get it out, Mummy,” he says.
Tweezers are not a good idea so I try to get him to blow. He can’t, or not hard enough. I make him sniff pepper so he’ll sneeze. No luck. Finally, with visions of 5 hours in A&E in my future, I get my toddler first aid book out and it advises getting them to blow something like a feather of your hand so they’ll blow hard. I don’t have a feather, but I have little bits of paper and I show him how to do it. He thinks it’s funny, blows, blows again, and the pea is out.
In the aftermath, I have called or emailed lots of people about this. They all think it is funny. I will probably think so too, in about 15 years.
Fecklet didn’t seem bothered at all. Then he decided he was a mouse and said nothing but squeaks for about half an hour.
Life is weird.
Anyway, I’ll be on BBC Radio Scotland today at about 11.20 am talking about holiday romances.
Lyvvie says:
I did that as a child, and ended up in the ER as a result. Lucky you for not having to go through that. (I also shoved a pearl into my ear canal so I could have super hearing like the Bionic Woman.)
Lacey Devlin says:
Wow I never would have thought of that! The ER and I would’ve been becoming close friends. I applaude you and the author of your toddler first aid book
Jan Jones says:
I blame shape-sorters. I bet nobody ever tried to put a piece of diced carrot up their nose.
Immensely well done on the blowing-bits-of-paper trick! Colour me highly impressed!
Kate Hardy says:
If it makes you feel any better, Chloe once stuck a smartie up her nose. A red one. (While Daddy was meant to be watching her, note.) She came in to me, bawling, with red stuff running out of her nose – sent me straight into a panic.
Never did it again, though
)
And we laugh about it now.
Well done you on the paper trick.
Lorraine Powell says:
Congrats on the pea removal, I think it’s a boy thing – always curious.
My son too pretends to be a mouse or dog quite often, the up side, he’s usually more cooperative if ‘Pip’ has to do something than if I ask him to do it!
carolc says:
Don’t you love childcare guides. They have the answer to just about everything!
Julie Day says:
Well done on getting the pea out. Sounded rather yucky. Hope the talk went OK.
Kate Johnson says:
I once ate soap because I thought it’d taste like it smelled. I’m still disappointed now.
Julie says:
Still disappointed two days later, Kate?
Julie says:
I’m very relieved by the other stories of children sticking things up their noses (or ears). Thank you, my friends, for making my family feel slightly more normal.
Kate H, I’m not sure if I would have freaked out more if bright green or blue stuff was coming out of my child’s nose.
Julie says:
Lyvvie, I haven’t seen you in forever! Thanks for stopping by, O Bionic Woman.
Anna Adams says:
Julie, when my husband was a toddler, he put a bean in his nose and it only came out at the ER. Once was not enough–so later, he swallowed a bullet, but he didn’t tell anyone, for fear he’d get “a spankin’” and it’d “go off.”
This is the man with whom I have children.
Julie says:
He SWALLOWED A BULLET!??!
Is it still in there?
Michelle Styles says:
Thankfully my children never did that. But I am in AWE of your calmness and the paper trick.
The fecklet is very cute being a mouse. Did he have to scurry around, hiding from the cat? And possibly finding the cheese/biscuits to nibble?
Hopefully your radio interview went well.
Phillipa Ashley says:
Julie – my dad pushed a stone up his nose to upset his older sister. (this was in the 1950s). The ambulance took my Gran and dad to hospital and as they approached the hospital, the ambulance went over a bump and the stone came out.
But a Bullet? OMG!
Anna Adams says:
A bullet. What made him, even at four or five, stumble across a bullet and go–”I better eat that”?
I guess it went the way of things in a digestive tract. He’s never shot anyone with his innards!
I enjoyed the story of your signing with your agent, Julie,
Anna