At this moment as I type, Fecklet and I were supposed to be midway over the Atlantic. We were supposed to be on our way home to the USA for Christmas. My husband the Rock God, who’s been working in Australia and New Zealand for the past six weeks, was meant to be flying in to Boston the day before and catching up with some sleep before he met our plane today. My parents were also going to meet us, and drive us all up to Maine, where we were going to have Fecklet’s real birthday and the holiday together as a family. We were all looking forward to it so much. We only get to see my parents two or three times a year, so the visits are precious. Rock God hasn’t seen us for six weeks and it’s really hard for him. And I’ve been a single parent for six weeks, with no adult life to speak of.
Well, because of the slightly-less-than-mild winter weather here in the south of England, our flight was cancelled. And we couldn’t get another one before Christmas. Rock God is in Boston (I think), but his luggage has been lost between Sydney and Los Angeles. As there are hardly any planes flying out of the UK, there are hardly any flying back in. I hope he can reschedule his flight and maybe get back to us for Christmas day, but I’m not holding out much hope. Besides, he’s just flown for over 30 hours to get to Boston, so I don’t think he’s in a hurry to get on another plane. We were very clever and did most of our Christmas shopping on Amazon, getting all the gifts delivered to my parents’ house in Maine, which means that Fecklet and I, stuck by ourselves in England, don’t have any gifts under our tree here.
I should have expected it. My December has not exactly run smoothly. My oven, my internet, and my bath have all broken. I’ve tried to have a social life within the confines of being a lone parent, but since the beginning of the month, I have had to cancel one weekend trip to see dear friends, another weekend visit by another dear friend, and two dinner parties. I’ve had three babysitters cancel for the same night, so I couldn’t go to the Christmas dinner I’d organised. The books I had to send to the US never turned up. None of this is anyone’s fault—in fact, in most of the cases, the people who had to cancel had much worse situations than I did. It just seemed to mount up, you know? And now the cancelled flights and cancelled family holiday.
So I’m feeling a little bit sorry for myself. But on the other hand, there is this.
There are my friends.
Although I didn’t get to do all that stuff I wanted, people have been stepping up to help me. There’s the neighbour who has given me cups of tea and babysitting so I can snatch a bit of adult conversation. There’s the friend and her husband who came to me with champagne because I couldn’t leave the house. There’s the dear friend who came round for a glass of wine and ended up helping me with the Fecklet’s sudden vomiting bug. There are the cheerful texts and emails and Christmas cards.
Within seconds of my posting on Twitter that my flight was cancelled and that Fecklet and I were going to be alone for Christmas, my friends began inviting me to their homes. They have overnight-couriered gifts so we’ll have something to open on Christmas day. They have offered babysitting, food, company. Fecklet is disappointed, of course. He’s sad and he really misses his daddy and his grandparents. But he’s also hugging me, and kissing me, and saying he’s glad that he and I are together, and he’s cheerful about all the good and fun things that we’re going to do instead.
I’m so thankful, and so touched. And I believe that our cancelled Christmas is going to be very special after all.
Five years ago, I was with my parents and husband in the US for Christmas, and I miscarried on Christmas morning. It started as we were about to open our presents under the tree. It was one of the saddest days of my life. But my family were there with me, to help me, to give me love, to mourn with me.
Four years ago, my son was born. Carol singers came to the hospital and I brought the Fecklet, in his little wheeled cot, out to them. They sang to him while he slept. It was probably the happiest day of my life. And my husband and family and friends were there with me too, along with a lot of people who I didn’t even know.
Holidays are different days. More important days, so much more intense than the rest of the year. For me, Christmas is mixed up so much with the best and the worst. You probably have a lot of stories like this too.
I’m not a religious person. But this holiday reminds me, if I needed to be reminded, of how I am blessed.
Oh, good grief, I’m filling up here, Julie. I hope the Rock God makes it home, but if he doesn’t you’ll talk to each other and save up Christmas until you’re together. I will be thinking of you.
This is probably wrong, but somewhere deep inside me I am punching the air and shouting, “I made LIZ FIELDING cry!!!”
It’s just payback for the many times I’ve had to wipe away a tear at the end of one of your stories…
You’ve made me cry Julie but I’m glad so many people have gathered around you to help you as much as they can. This is when you discover the real value in the people surrounding you. I hope you and Fecklet can have a special Christmas and I’m crossing my fingers for Rock God to get there as soon as possible.
Thank you, Sarah. Thanks for the RT as well. I’m sorry I made you cry too but I think it is wonderful to be reminded how important the people around you are.
Oh Julie, I’m so sorry your plans have been cancelled and you’re having a rotten December. But I’m so glad you’ve got people around you who can make it better.
I’ve been sitting here in not-very-snowy Essex wishing I could at least throw a few snowballs, but I fear my wishes will be granted at the most inconvenient time. My brother and his girlfriend have to get to Norfolk this week, and then back down to us for Christmas, so I really hope they make it, especially as it’s his birthday on Christmas Day. I also really hope my New Year’s trip to Cornwall isn’t called off–not least because you don’t get a refund on a cottage due to snow!
(Incidentally, you were lucky to get the carol singers. My brother was born just before midnight on Christmas Day, and all the festivities were over then. My mother’s still bitter about that. Also, she never got to see the end of Dr. No)
Doesn’t James Bond win in the end?
I hope your brother gets to you and you all have a wonderful holiday/birthday together, Kate.
Oh Julie! ivé been lurking for a while but had to come out to offer my commiserations and sympathies. That is AWFUL! But I like your attitude at the end of the post! xox
Thank you, Rachael. Hope your holiday is a wonderful one.
Dear Julie,
So sad for you as I too have had many awful things happen at Christmas, one notable one when my two eldest were feared lost in Thailand’s tsami, I was alone with my 6 yr old g/son and for 48 hrs feared the worst. But the girls got back, and now whenever I feel dejected I think of the utter joy I felt when they came through hotel door. Once you are re-united with your husband, you’ll find that sometimes the worst things turn out to be the best. We know then what love really means. God Bless and Merry Christmas, however late that comes. Love Lesley xxx
Now YOU’VE made ME cry, Lesley. How deeply, deeply wonderful that your girls were returned to you. Thank you for sharing that story.
I had been looking forward to seeing you over Christmas, since I missed seeing you at your Dads retirement party. But, I have been watching the European snowstorms and worrying about you instead.
I’m sorry the weather has messed up yours’ and your families Christmas. I hope everyone stays warm and safe. Maybe this will be just another story for Fecklet’s babybook.
I did finish ‘Girl From Mars’ even though it wasn’t signed. I loved the pages where Fil explains to Dan how comic books are layed out. Then, she shows how to illustrate a hidden door, as she insists that he give her a freer rein to illustrate the story because she does know what she is doing!
I wish you all Merry Christmas and a Happier New Year!
I hope you’re warm and safe too, Chris! And I’m glad you enjoyed Fil in Girl from Mars. It was really fun to learn how visual storytelling differs from verbal storytelling, and to set the two off against each other.
A very happy Christmas to you and yours too.
An extremely moving blog post and proof, if it were needed, that oh my goodness – you are a writer. I hope this Christmas can be everything you’d like it to be. I take my hat off to you.
Karen, to tell you the truth, I was a little bit paranoid about the writing in this post, but hey, there are things that matter more than prose style. Happy Christmas to you, and thank you.
Honey, I hope that Rock God makes it back but a little part of me hopes you make it for a Coady Christmas
Love you kiddo.
Bxx
I think that even if RG comes back I will send some hidden cameras to the Coady Christmas so I can experience it vicariously.
Thanks love.
Awww, Julie, you made me cry. As an author you know it will be a great story to tell Lil’ Feck one day. Life is full of those little disappointments, but everyone is well and your life is full. How lovely that you realize that amidst this big disappointment. One would look at you with envy and think how privileged you are. We’ll miss you terribly on Saturday.
Loving you from Maine,
The Aunties
We’ll miss you a lot, too, Aunties. I’m trusting you with the job of cheering up my mom.
And you’re right, I’m so, so lucky.
Commiserations to you, Fecklet and your family. What a woeful time Christmas can be! But, hey, look on the good side…this could make a great plotline in a future book! Stranded single mother with child, missing out on Xmas, friends and online acquaintances stepping in to help you out and amongst them a handsome stranger….ooh, hang on, I like this. Bagsy it’s mine!
Seriously, I do hope Christmas gets better for you. But, you’ve got wine, or at least, chocolate, right?
I have wine and chocolate and I’m getting more tomorrow. Bagfuls.
You’re right, it would be a good romantic plot. I’m sure we could both use it, in our own ways…
It never fails to amaze me how, despite many stories to the contrary, there is so much greater goodness in the world.
Merry Christmas to you and your family. It will be one to remember, and I hope with joy.
Thank you, Marisa. And many joyful memories to you, too.
We are all going to miss you and Fecklet as well as Rock God (I love that!!!)on Christmas Day! It just won’t be the same without you. Give Fecklet a huge kiss for me on those wonderful cheeks and my love to you all
)
Am kissing him for you, Auntie Joyce. Please make sure my mother has lots of fun on Christmas day, okay?
Argh! Yes, I’m crying. I wish there was something I could do to help you. I’m really sorry for your situation and my cancelled travel plans pale into insignificance compared to yours.
I really hope RockGod manages to make it home to you both for Christmas.
You are inspirational already but this makes you even more so.
I wish you and yours all the very best that Christmas can bring to you and if you can’t be with others, you know you have all the thoughts of those around you interactively. And I wish you lots of wine and other goodies too.
Blimey. Glad there was so many posts, so I could try to compose myself. Prior to reading this I was worrying about the snow we have been promised locally tonight and how I would get the Christmas turkey. Love and hugs to you, Julie.
So so sorry to hear the weather has meant your flight to the US has been cancelled. We have been anxiously waiting to hear if my husbands family would make it out of the UK to NZ for Christmas. We’ve just heard that they are being put on another flight. I really feel for you. I hope your husband makes it home and will be keeping my fingers crossed.
Thinking of you.
I don’t know you but I’m thinking of you. Christmas love and peace to you.
(((((hugs))))) sweetie. But all will be well one way or the other.
A very touching story. It made me a bit weepy. Christmas can often be a bitter-sweet time. I hope that no matter where you are or who you are with, that your Christmas is ‘merry & bright’.
xx
What a lovely post, Julie. Sometimes it takes the difficulties and even tragedies for you to appreciate your friends and what life is all about–I hope this Christmas will be very special indeed. I can appreciate your story–I had a similar experience of miscarrying and then giving birth exactly a year later–bittersweet but full of joy! xo
There’s not much I can say that hasn’t been said already, but I’m so happy you have loads of wonderful people around you. I’m sure your Christmas will be special even if it’s not what you anticipated.
I’ve been out for most of the day and just read your post – I obviously hadn’t read all your tweets properly as I didn’t realise quite how bad things were. So sorry your Christmas is messed up like this, but hope the RG makes it back home in time and that you have a great Christmas together!
(((HUGS))) Julie! I’m sorry so much has gone wrong this Christmas but I’m glad you have such wonderful friends. I love that Fecklet has such an amazing attitude to being without his dad!
How very true – we’re going through a rough time this Christmas and have cancelled our, longed for, family holiday plans (before the weather got to them and did its worst). My Beloved’s mother is very, very ill but the kindness of friends, the wonderful hospital care, her gentle peace, all contribute to a kind of quiet gratitude for the blessings we have. I wish you joy and peace x
Oh Julie. I hope that RG makes it home in time. I wish you and fecklet the best Christmas you can have under the circumstances. Hugs xxx
Just remember you are healthy enough to be p-ed off with this, wealthy enough with friends that they are your family surrogate, and happy enough to be with fekclet.
Wishing you a safe, peaceful Christmas.
Hugs and love to you and Fecklet from the snowbound wastes of the Black Country.
(((Hugs))) Julie! Thinking of you. Sue Child x
Oh, Julie, hugs. So glad you do have friends to keep you company and make it somewhat better.
Thanks for sharing a touching story. Why do we write fiction, when real life produces stuff you couldn’t make up?
[...] other news is not quite so exciting. You may remember the Cancelled Christmas? Well, Fecklet and I are supposed to fly to the US tomorrow, to have our replacement Christmas. [...]