Archive for the ‘B. H. Dark’ Category
August 25, 2009 | B. H. Dark, Uncategorized, contests
I’ve chosen the winner of the CLOSE ENCOUNTERS contest. It was very difficult to do. I mean, the contest was to say who (ahem—whom) you’d choose to have sex with in a blue tube, were you to be abducted by aliens. How was I supposed to choose the best answer?
For example, Rach chose a sexy serial killer/gay undertaker. We had two requests each for Hugh Jackman and David Tennant (only two!?) and two for Pierce Brosnan, and four for fictional characters—five if you count Lorraine asking for the hero of her own wip. Kathy did her usual selection of someone barely legal, on a video I couldn’t access from this country. We had Tom Cruise, Robert Pattinson, Peter Andre and his ex Katie Price (separately), a whole bunch of country and western artists (unsurprisingly, from Biddy and Danielle) and one alien Blue Opera Singer.
Who’s the alien? You decide.
In the end I had to choose a winner by random draw. But first I have a couple of runners-up. Girls, I don’t have a prize for you, but you do get eternal fame from being featured on this here blog.
Ruth was quite frightening in choosing nearly all men who I would also welcome naked in a blue tube. I’m not convinced about Rob Lowe (too much jaw), but I’m all over David Tennant, Ewan McGregor in biker gear, and Captain Picard. Good taste, my woman. As a reward, I may have to challenge you to a duel.
Janet Mullany had the post that made me laugh. Her choice was:
At this point, just about anyone with a pulse.
As a reward, I will pimp her book, A Most Lamentable Comedy, a hilariously funny and feelgood and intelligent Regency chick lit from Little Black Dress. Buy it!
But the winner, by random draw, was Gail, who emailed me her fantasies about Tom Cruise from Top Gun with the body of Christiano Ronaldo, holding some baby oil. Totally…I’m sure the aliens could arrange that! Gail, I’ll email you soon to get your address to send you a copy of the book.
Don’t forget the gene splicing and baby oil, boys.
Thanks everyone for playing!
August 16, 2009 | B. H. Dark, contests
Dude! I have totally neglected to mention that CLOSE ENCOUNTERS is out NOW in paperback!
(I will remind you discreetly that CLOSE ENCOUNTERS is the book I co-wrote with Kathy Love as B.H. Dark, and it’s an erotic science fiction romantic comedy, or, as described on the BBC, an “eromscicom”. It’s about space aliens abducting four human beings in order to form an intergalactic porn empire. It’s sexy, it’s funny, it’s completely implausible, and it contains the line “We’re going to be the Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson of the galaxy.”)
You can buy it in your favourite bookstore, or on Amazon here, or with free shipping from The Book Depository here. Or it’s still available as an e-book, here.
In fact, I do believe I have a copy of the paperback to give away with a contest. Either leave a comment or email me, using the “contact” form above, and answer the following question:
If you were abducted by space aliens and made to have sex with someone in a glowing blue tube…who would you want it to be with?
I’ll keep the contest open until Monday the 24th. Or longer, if I’m really enjoying the answers.
April 7, 2009 | B. H. Dark, contests
You can win a free ebook of B.H. Dark’s CLOSE ENCOUNTERS on The Long and the Short of It today!
And lots of other free books all this month. Check it out here.
December 6, 2008 | B. H. Dark, contests, reviews
It’s reviews and contests and auctions and achievements this weekend.
CONTESTS AND AUCTIONS
First, the auction for Jo Leigh is going on all this week, and the items are really fantastic. Go here to check out the full list on eBay. I’ve got copies of ONE NIGHT STAND and HONEY TRAP up for sale. Especially if you’re in the US, this would be a great way to get hold of them, because I’ll cover the shipping and you won’t have to worry about exhange rate problems.
On the other hand, you can win a totally free copy of CLOSE ENCOUNTERS by B.H. Dark (aka me and Kathy Love), and a lot of other books, in Moira Roger’s holiday contest, on her website, here.
Don’t forget, too, the Samhain contest to win a Kindle e-book reader and books, which is still going on here.
REVIEWS
The Oxford Times has called HONEY TRAP “a dark, edgy, unusual romance.” Yay!
Fallen Angels Reviews has given CLOSE ENCOUNTERS 5 Angels and called it “a humorous joyride of a novel populated by rich colorful characters and cartoonish space aliens”. Yay yay!!
ACHIEVEMENTS
And finally…go congratulate Biddy at the Pink Heart Society for finishing her novel and getting it off to the Golden Heart in the nick of time!
(P.S. No gross spillages yet today, but the day is still young.)
December 1, 2008 | B. H. Dark, contests
November 10, 2008 | B. H. Dark, interviews
Jennifer Yates is interviewing the heroes of CLOSE ENCOUNTERS, Beau and Leandros, on her blog today.
Kathy and I did the interview over the telephone. It was hilarious. You gotta love any interview that begins with the response, “Lady, are you an alien?”
Anyway, pop round and check it out and join in the discussion: Would you give up everything on Earth for love?
October 29, 2008 | B. H. Dark
Today, B. H. Dark is being interviewed on the Writing Playground. The playmates (is that the right word? reminds me of men’s magazines somehow) are always lots and lots of fun, so it should be a good day there. Come by and see us.
October 28, 2008 | B. H. Dark
CLOSE ENCOUNTERS releases today!
And coincidentally, a strange message from outer space has found its way onto the Samhain weblog, purporting to be from some alien creature called Nisom…go have a look.
Or you can just buy the book, for the bargain price of $4.95, here.
October 27, 2008 | B. H. Dark, contests
Okay so CLOSE ENCOUNTERS totally comes out tomorrow. It is, I must humbly admit, the best erotic science fiction romantic comedy I have ever read. Ahem.
And today, we’re giving away a FREE COPY, one day before the release date, at http://southernfriedchicas.com. So go there and leave a comment for a chance to win!
Also, all this week we’ll be posting stuff about the book on B. H. Dark’s blog…and if you leave a comment there, on any post, you’ll be in with a chance to win a FREE COPY there, too!
Today, we’re talking about how CLOSE ENCOUNTERS started. A sordid tale of alcohol and a Greek alpha male who smouldered a bit too much…go look!
September 23, 2008 | B. H. Dark, covers
As a total contrast to the quintessential chick-lit Blanvalet cover, below, Kathy Love and I, aka B. H. Dark, also got our cover for our Samhain e-book release next month. Check this one out:
Half-nekkid couple. Stars. Funky comic-book-style font. Big alien eyeball.
Yup, you gotta love it.
I’ve made a B. H. Dark page on my website, which is here, and have also put up an extract on our blogspot site, which is here. And if you’d like to be our friend on MySpace, that’s here.
It’s out as an e-book on 28 October, and will be out in print next summer.
August 21, 2008 | B. H. Dark
As a little vacation from suckage, I thought I would come clean with you all.
Y’see, I’ve got an alter identity. A couple of years ago, my dear friend Kathy Love and I got this great idea to write a book together. So we wrote it, largely by email and Instant Messenger, and had a blast doing it. Then we made up a pseudonym, and got it accepted by a publisher, and now it’s coming out as an e-book in October. Here’s the blurb:
coming from Samhain Publishing 28 October 2008
In space, no one can hear you cream.
Odilia is a nice planet. The sky is purple, the grass is yellow, the property prices aren’t that bad. But reproduction is painful, solitary, and asexual. Which is why the Odilians find the recently discovered “X-rated” disks from Earth so fascinating. And why the money-making scheme they’re hatching is so brilliant.
The plan is simple: abduct four Earthlings and juice them up on a heady pheromone cocktail. Then plop them in a variety of titillating holographic scenarios and market the results as reality entertainment—for vast profits.
The four chosen humans are strangers to each other, but not to life’s disappointments. Leandros, a lounge singer who’s never committed to anything longer than an Elvis medley. Eve, a interior designer who’s living a life much more beige than bold. Beau, a laid-back car mechanic who wants more from life than oil changes. And Cassandra, an innocent debutante who’s learned most of her sexual know-how from self-help books.
As unwilling—okay, sort of willing—stars of the Odilians’ budding intergalactic porn empire, the four of them consider their options. Relax and enjoy the ride? Try to escape?
How about fall in love?
Hopefully you’ll be hearing more about the mysterious B. H. Dark in the future. Meanwhile, come on over to B. H.’s myspace page and make friends with her! Er, us. Um, her.
Whatever.
Tags: B. H. Dark, Close Encounters
