Archive for the ‘first pages’ Category

October 9, 2007 | Honey Trap, first pages

After my first page thread on eHarlequin, and all the crits I’ve done on the poor people taking my classes, I guess it’s time to post my first page and let people have at it. Fiona mentioned doing this herself with the Novel Racers, so if she does, maybe she’ll put a link in the comments.

The idea is that your first page should be a real hook into your book, and should give a clue as to what the main conflict is going to be right away. It should be tight, it should be exciting, and it should be the best you can make it.

So here it is…the first page of Honey Trap.

Any crits welcome, or if you think it works, that’s welcome too. I’ll post in the comments a bit later, explaining why I made the choices I did.

*

Please, at least let him be tall.

Sophie Tennant stood inside the doorway of the bar, scanning the room. She’d never seen her date in real life, but she knew he was brown-eyed, brown-haired, slightly built, and a scumbag.

Also, to her relief, not an early bird. She smoothed down her red dress and rubbed her lips together to make sure her red lipstick was still fresh, both actions unnecessary because she knew she was wrinkle-free and she’d put on the lipstick in her car five minutes ago, after adjusting the adhesive tape beneath her bra. Sophie went to the bar, ordered a tonic water with ice and a slice, and brought it to her preferred table in the corner, facing the door with the light behind her.

It was the third time this month she’d been in Bar 42 and she was beginning to wonder if the bar staff thought she was desperate, a hooker, or both. She didn’t like to be noticed and would have preferred to go somewhere else this time, but Keith had suggested it in his text.

It was a good location, anyway: not too dark, not too light, and just busy enough. Sophie’d had bad experiences with noisy crowded pubs before, hours of work down the drain because some idiot beside her was talking too loudly. And the less she thought about what had happened in the unlit car park of that country pub two years ago, the better.