Apr

17

2012

lucky 7

Filed under: Dear Thing, writing

Kate Hardy tagged me with this Lucky 7 meme.

Rules: go to p77 of your current work, 7th line down, and paste the next 7 sentences. Then tag 7 others.

I’m working on Dear Thing. It’s the story of Claire and Ben, who can’t have children, and Ben’s best friend Romily, who offers to act as a surrogate for them. Romily’s a single mum, and Posie is her daughter.

This is when Claire comes to Romily’s flat for the first time:

            ‘This is nice,’ Claire said, trying to hide the implication that she hadn’t expected it to be.

          Claire followed Romily’s gaze as it settled on the worn carpet and then glanced over two dying potted plants on the windowsill. ‘Well, it does all right for me and Pose. Cup of tea?’

            Romily scooped up Posie’s crumpled school uniform from the sofa and kicked a pair of stray trainers aside on her way to the kitchenette, which was fitted into an alcove in the main room. Posie appeared in the doorway, her face wreathed in smiles, and ran to Ben to give him a hug, and then Claire.

            ‘I didn’t know you were coming over!’ she said happily. ‘Come to my room, I need to show you my base camp—I’m in Peru today.’  

This is actually an interesting exercise. It can show you whether you’re lacking tension in your work. I’ll admit that after cutting and pasting, I did a little editing out of unnecessary sentences, so that this extract would show what I wanted it to: the contrast between Claire and Romily, how Romily feels that Claire is judging her, and Posie’s imagination and love for the other couple. I’ll probably keep the edit in the ms.

I’m rubbish at tagging people, but if you’re moved to do this on your own blog, add a link on the comments so I can come and see. Or if you don’t have a blog, put yours in the comments!


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  1. I will probably also get rid of ‘wreathed in smiles’ which is an expression I personally dislike. I can’t think of why it’s in there!

    Editing is a wonderful, wonderful thing.

    Reply

  2. The new book sounds really different to your previous ones, am looking forward to reading it when it hits the shelves.:O)

    Have had a go at the Lucky 7 meme on my blog – I found myself scrutinizing the words all over again for superfluous ones!

    Jo
    x

    Reply

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